March 30, 2016

Until we meet again my sweet girl

An open letter to my sweet Bubbaloo


My sweet Bubbaloo,
As I sit here and watch you peacefully sleep after a really hard night, so many memories are flooding in. I will never forget the first day I met you. Dad told me I couldn’t pet you at first because you were very anxious and protective. I took one look into your gorgeous brown eyes and my heart melted. We fell in love at first sight. I’m pretty sure within minutes you were sitting on my feet and within an hour snuggled up next to me on the couch. You had my whole heart from day 1. Do you remember the time you got so excited you started running around and bit Dad’s exercise ball? It popped instantly and you had the silliest face that said “hey, what happened?” It’s a face that I have loved for 3 years. Or the time you found a baseball in your favorite field and sneakily ripped it apart and ate half of it? Only to get sick later? Dad tried to be upset but couldn’t contain his laughter to get any words out. That’s because his love for you goes beyond exercise balls, and torn up baseballs, it’s a love that cannot be put into words. And let’s not forget how you sometimes took your job as residential security a little too seriously.

You are the most determined soul I have ever met and stubborn beyond belief. Your perseverance through your struggles the last few weeks is nothing short of amazing. I’m pretty sure if I had half as much strength and courage as you I could change the world. You inspire me to be better, Bubsy.

The last 3 years with you have been an amazing blessing in my life. You found a way, even though it was very difficult at times, to welcome DJ and Jerico into your home and still have managed to tolerate and love them. Our pack of 6, although crazy at times, is beautiful, real and our life. Our family. We’ve all had each other but I know we need to find a way to go on without you. There are bigger plans for you my sweet girl. I just know your first mommy is waiting for you and she will now take care of you again. I hope she is happy with the way Dad took care of you since she passed and how I have the past few years. I won’t say goodbye my sweet girl because I know we will meet again. We will run through fields, chasing tennis balls and sticks and fall down laughing, roll onto our backs and snuggle together again. My heart is broken but you don”t need to worry because you are off to great places and you will forever be in my heart. You will forever hold a place there. A place filled with sunshine, your favorite field, peanut butter treats and Sunday marathon nap sessions in bed. I love you with my whole heart, we all do. So go on sweet girl, go on and enjoy the beauty and love that awaits you and until we meet again know that I will forever be thinking of you.

My sweet Bear Bear, you are beautiful beyond words, loyal beyond reason, determined without a doubt and loving without question. You have inspired me to be a better person and I have learned so much from you. You amaze me and I am in awe of you. My heart is bigger and happier because of you sweet Bear Bear. Thank you.

We lost one of our pack, our family, our sweet Bear over the weekend. We were all together and shared many beautiful and silly memories. Ryan read a verse and I read the letter above to our sweet girl while we spent our final time together in our garden taking in the beautiful, peaceful sunshine. Our hearts are broken and we are taking time together as a pack to heal. Thank you so much to everyone who has sent love and support our way over the last few weeks. You mean the world to us and we love you so!

from my heart to yours,

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