We did it!
We welcomed a baby girl , Kaia Soleil on January 3 and what a ride it has been! Things have changed quite a bit around here and juggling a small business, motherhood, marriage and life has been interesting to say the least, but we are navigating a path that works for us and finding our way as we go. This year has been full of so much “new” and I had no idea how much I would love being a mom. I mean, I thought I would really enjoy it, but in all seriousness I absolutely LOVE it. It’s amazing, and crazy and a complete whirlwind, but I wouldn’t change a second of it for anything.
If you have been following me on Instagram you will know our journey to parenthood was intense and pregnancy brought it’s own unique struggles, but I am so immensely grateful for being right where we are today. We have a perfect baby girl and life is more beautiful than Ryan or I could have ever dreamed it could be. And I mean that in the most cheesiest of ways possible.
Working from home has been a challenge for me. Ryan and I decided before having Kaia that I would ease back in slowly and see where it took me. What I didn’t realize is that a few weeks in I would start getting a lot of “when are you going back to work?”, “what are you going to do now?” “are you just going to stay at home with Kaia?” questions that would send my head spinning and bring me to an anxiety-ridden 12 week maternity leave mark- because isn’t this about the time where you would be going back to work? And for some reason, running a small business from home didn’t qualify. Or at least that’s how it felt. The expectations I placed on myself started to unravel and I knew I needed to take a step back and give myself even more space. For me, being fully present was key. I wanted to be 100% diving into my work or 100% mommin’ it and finding the in between was much more challenging than I could have anticipated. I realized early on I needed to let go. My heart was pulling me towards my baby girl and I allowed myself to release the ridiculous “I should have this all figured out by now” expectation and just BE.
Through the thick of it all I have been able to be fully present, to soak in my days with Kaia, I have given myself grace, patience and kindness. I am living the life I had imagined, in fact, it’s so much better than I had imagined. I am working on releasing the outward expectations and focusing on what truly feels good to ME. My heart is full, and I feel immense gratitude for where life has taken us, in becoming Kaia’s mom, for my everyday and for my clients who allow me to serve them during these seasons of my life.
As I finally finishing writing this (seriously, I started this when she was 4 months old- because life ya know?) my baby girl is nine months old, yup you heard that right, 9 months old. She has now been a part of our everyday for as long I carried her inside my belly and it completely blows my mind. We are thoroughly enjoying the moving stage and are in awe of how quickly she grows, changes and learns new things. Today, her favorite things are walking along furniture, climbing our staircase, chatting and having conversations with anyone who will listen to her, cuddling with her dogs and making us laugh. It’s magic friends, pure magic.
To all of you who have followed me along this journey and to the new faces around here, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life and sharing this journey with me. I love you all to pieces.
I am so grateful you are here.
A very special thank you to Melissa Oholendt Photography for capturing this time in our lives so perfectly.